Beer
Did you hear about the man who fell into a vat of beer?
He came to a bitter end.
Cannibals
Have you heard about the cannibal restaurant?
A meal will cost you an arm and a leg.
Bananas
Why did the banana go out with the prune?
Because he couldn't find a date.
Lawyers
Up until you employ a lawyer, talk is cheap.
Kangaroos
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a line of people waiting to catch a bus?
A queue jumper.
Squirrels
Why do squirrels always 'live happily ever afterward'?
Because they have furry tail ends.
Lawyers
Where can you find a good lawyer?
In the graveyard.
Politics
The politician's campaign speech was praised by a voter, who said: I admire the straightforward way you dodged all the issues.
Ducks
What goes 'kcauq, kcauq'?
A duck flying backward.