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Joke Topic - 'Waterbed'
Here are 2 jokes on the topic - 'Waterbed'.
How can you tell when it's going to be a bad day?
* You wake up and discover your waterbed broke and then realize that you don't have a waterbed.
* You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city.
* Your wife says "Good Morning, Bill" and your name is Frank.
* You see a "60 Minutes" news team waiting in your office.
* Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.
* You call the Suicide Prevention Hotline and they put you on hold.
* Your tax refund cheque bounces.
* Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife.
* You wake up and discover your waterbed broke and then realize that you don't have a waterbed.
* You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city.
* Your wife says "Good Morning, Bill" and your name is Frank.
* You see a "60 Minutes" news team waiting in your office.
* Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.
* You call the Suicide Prevention Hotline and they put you on hold.
* Your tax refund cheque bounces.
* Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife.
You know you're having a bad day when you wake up to the soothing sound of running water...and remember that you just bought a waterbed.
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Work
I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
Henry VIII
King Henry VIII went to heaven. St Peter said, 'Tell me, why did you have so many different wives?'
Henry said, 'I like to' chop and change.'
Henry said, 'I like to' chop and change.'
Policemen
Old policemen never die, they just cop out.
School Teacher
Did you hear about the school teacher who married a dairymaid?
It didn't last. They were like chalk and cheese.
It didn't last. They were like chalk and cheese.
Possessed
"You have reached 555-5678, DIAL-A-DEMON. At the sound of the tone you will be possessed."
Chimps
What happens if a chimp falls and twists his ankle?
He gets a monkey wrench.
He gets a monkey wrench.
A Married Man
A married man should always forget his mistakes.
There's no use two people remembering the same things.
There's no use two people remembering the same things.
The Bell
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ammonia
Ammonia who?
Ammonia little girl and I can't reach the bell.
Who's there?
Ammonia
Ammonia who?
Ammonia little girl and I can't reach the bell.
The Titanic
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?
About half way.
About half way.
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