Monsters
What should you do if you see a blue monster?
Try and cheer him up.
Milk
Cashier: Would you like your milk in a bag?
Customer: No, just leave it in the carton!
Complaining
My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her or something like that.
Scottish
How did the little Scottie dog feel when he saw the Loch Ness monster?
Terrier-fied.
Bees
Name the bees' favorite pop star.
Sting.
Turkeys
Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of foul play.
Waiters
Waiter, waiter, this food isn't fit for a pig.'
'Very good, sir. I'll go and get you some that is.'
Singing
Did you hear about the woman who couldn't find a singing partner?
She ended up buying a duet-your-self kit.
Kangaroos
What animal likes a leap year?
A kangaroo.