Joke Topic - 'Walt Disney'

Men are like a pack of cards, you need a heart to love them, a diamond to marry them, a club to batter them, and a spade to bury them.

Did you hear about the entertainer who did a show for the cannibals?
They say that he went down really well.

What is the hardest key to turn?
A donkey.

Who was the first underwater spy?
James Pond.

Where does a woodsman keep his pigs?
In a hog cabin.

Why is it difficult for leopards to hide?
Because they're always spotted.

I said to my uncle, 'How long have you been bald?'
He said 'Ever since the war lad. I lost it in a hair raid.'

Dave: Do you like going to work?
Patrick: Yes. And I like going home, too. It's the part in between that I hate.

Why are Scotsmen such good golfers?
They know that the fewer times they have to hit the ball the longer it will last.