At an auction in Glasgow a wealthy American announced that he had lost his wallet containing �10,000 and would give a reward of �100 to the person who found it.
From the back of the hall Wee Hughie shouted, "I'll give �150!"
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Fly
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Don't worry - he won't drink much.
Bride
The bride looked stunning and the groom looked stunned.
Kidding
"Hello, this is Dave. (pause) Hello? Hello!!? Nah, just kidding. This is an answering machine.
Ugly
What is big, green, and ugly and never smiles?
The Incredible Sulk.
Elephants
How do you make an elephant stew?
Keep him waiting a couple of hours.
Exorcists
Did you hear what happened to the guy who couldn't keep up payments to his exorcist?
No, what?
He was repossessed.
Dogs
Why was the dog unable to talk?
The cat got his tongue.
A Bad Company
If you think we're a bad company, you should see the competition.
Famous Composers
What do you get if you cross a piece of paper with two famous composers?
A Chopin Listz.