My dad went down the churchyard. He said to the vicar, 'Would you like me to put some locks on the cemetery gates?'
The vicar said, 'There's no point. The ghosts have all got skeleton keys.'
This vicar said, 'I like graveyards. They're never deserted.'
The sexton said, 'Really Father, why's that?'
The vicar said, 'Well there's always some body there.'
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Firemen
How many firemen does it take to change a light bulb?
Four - three to cut a hole in the roof and one to change the bulb.
Barman
Two fonts walk into a bar. The barman says to them, "Get out. We don't serve your type in here."
Batman
What would you get if Batman and Robin were run over by a steamroller?
Flatman and ribbon.
Dogs
My brother said, 'Mum, I'm feeling sick as a dog.'
My mum said, 'Hang on, I'll call the vet.'
Vegetables
Which vegetable goes best with jacket potatoes?
Button mushrooms.
The Meek
The meek shall inherit the earth - if that's all right with you?
Not Old
You're not old. You're chronologically challenged.
Wife
George: This year my wife gave me a wonderful birthday present.
Fred: What was it?
George: She let me win an argument.
Trees
What is white, light and sugary and swings from trees?
A meringue-utan.