Joke Topic - 'Vets'

What do you get if you cross a football team with ice cream?
Aston vanilla.

Do you play your piano by ear?
No, I play it by the open window to annoy my neighbors.

What is black and white and hard all over?
An exam paper.

Did you hear about the idiot who thought that bacteria was the rear of a cafeteria?

Waiter, waiter, there's a small fly in my soup.
I'm sorry, sir. Shall I get you a bigger one?

What type of trains do ballet dancers ride?
Tutu trains.

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer.

A sign over a cannibal's hut: "I never met a man I didn't like."

What do you get if you cross a locomotive with the author of Tom Sawyer?
A choo choo Twain.