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Joke Topic - 'Vet'

Here are 3 jokes on the topic - 'Vet'.


A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross eyed. Is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy"

My brother said, 'Mum, I'm feeling sick as a dog.'
My mum said, 'Hang on, I'll call the vet.'

Veterinarian: Has your dog ever had fleas?
Little Boy: No, just puppies!

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Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?


Don't complain about the tea
- you'll be old and weak yourself one day

Car Driver

Did you hear about the stupid car driver who always drove his car in reverse?
He said it was because he knew the town backwards.


What do you call a man who claps his hands at Christmas time?


Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."


My brother said, 'I'm going to become a forger. I'm going to make some big money.'
I said, 'Don't make it too big or someone'll notice.'

A Bakery

Why did the lazy man apply for a job in a bakery?
So he could just loaf around all day.


What did one insect say to the other?
Stop bugging me.


My new girlfriend is a pretty as a flower.
A cauliflower.

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