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Joke Topic - 'Ventriloquist'


Here is 1 joke on the topic - 'Ventriloquist'.

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A mangy-lookin' guy goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "No way. I don't think you can pay for it." The guy says "You're right. I don't have any money, but if I show you something you haven't seen before, will you give me a drink?" The bartender says "Only if what you show me ain't risque."
"Deal!" says the guy, as he reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He puts the hamster on the bar and it runs to the end of the bar, down a barstool, across the room, up the piano, jumps on the key board and starts playing Gershwin songs. And the hamster is really good. The bartender says, "You're right. I've never seen anything like that before. That hamster is truly good on the piano." The guy downs the drink and asks the bartender for another. "Money or another miracle, else no drink," says the bartender.
The guy reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog. He puts the frog on the bar, and the frog starts to sing. He has a marvelous voice and great pitch, a fine singer. A stranger from the other end of the bar runs over to the guy and offers him $300 for the frog. The guy says "It's a deal." He takes the three hundred and gives the frog to the stranger, who runs out of the bar with it.
The bartender says to the guy, "Are you some kind of nut?! You sold a singing frog for $300? It must have been worth millions. You must be crazy!"
"Not so," says the guy. "The hamster is also a ventriloquist!"


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Nightclubs

What do you call the people who are made of rubber and stand at the entrance to a nightclub?
Bouncers.
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Pigs

What do you get if you cross a pig with a hedgehog?
A porkupine.
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King Kong

If King Kong went to Hong Kong to play ping-pong and died, what would they put on his coffin?
A lid.
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Mouse

When does a mouse need an umbrella?
When it's raining cats and dogs.
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Light Bulbs

How many roadies/sound men does it take to change a light bulb?
1. One, two ! One, two ! One, two ! (think about it)
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Work

Julie: It takes me an hour to get to work in the morning.
Jean: Is that before or after you arrive?
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Elephants

How do you make an elephant stew?
Keep him waiting a couple of hours.
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Parrots

What flies through the jungle singing opera?
The parrots of Penzance.
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Fathers

George: Is your father still in the hospital?
William: Yes. He's in the Expensive Care Unit.

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