Joke Topic - 'Vegetables'

"I don't think much of your wife."
"Well, never mind just eat the vegetables."

I've lived on vegetables all my life
- that's nothing, I've lived on earth!

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market. I went and looked around and couldn't find any. So I grabbed an old, tired looking employee and said, "These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?" "The produce guy looked at me and said, "No. You'll have to do that yourself."

What did the rabbits say when they were caught in the vegetable patch?
Lettuce alone!

What is the friendliest vegetable?
A sweet potato.

What type of vegetables do plumbers fix?
Leeks.

Which vegetable goes best with jacket potatoes?
Button mushrooms.