Two carrots were walking down the road when a huge truck slammed into one of them. An ambulance was called and they rushed the little fellow off to the hospital where he immediately went into hours of surgery. Finally the doctor emerged and approached the other carrot who had been anxiously awaiting in the waiting room.
"Tell me Doc, how is he?"
The doctor replied, "I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is he's going to live. The bad news is he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life.
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Ignorance
If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.
Marriage
Missing: wife and dog. Reward for dog.
Astronaut
What is an astronaut’s favorite place on a computer keyboard?
The space bar.
School
Did you hear about the high class private school where all the pupils were very smelly?
Only filthy rich kids were allowed to go there.
Football
What is a football supporter's favourite Christmas song?
Yule never walk alone.
To Err
To err is human to forgive, beyond the scope of the Operating System.
Idiots
Why did the idiot put on wet trousers?
Because the label said 'wash and wear.'
Computers
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
Astronauts
Where did the astronaut get his degree?
At the mooniversity!