Did you hear about the vampire that swallowed a sheep?
He said he felt baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.
Did you hear about the vampire who liked ballroom dancing?
He especially liked the vaultz.
Did you hear about the vampire's new dog?
It's a bloodhound!
How do you terrify a vampire?
Ask them if they would like some garlic with their steak?
What did the vampire call his false teeth?
A new fangled device.
What did the vampire say when he called the blood bank?
Do you do home deliveries?
What do the police call it when they watch a vampire's castle?
A stake out.
What do vampires cross the ocean in?
Blood vessels.
What do you call a stupid vampire?
A clot.
What do you call a vampire that you can dip in your cup of coffee?
Count Dunkula.