Joke Topic - 'Upgrade'

Saliva drools O.K.

A seven year old going to his first carol service demanded indignantly when the collection plate came round, 'You mean we have to pay for this?'

What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a line of people waiting to catch a bus?
A queue jumper.

What do you call a bee which is born in the month of May?
A maybee.

A sign over a cannibal's hut: "I never met a man I didn't like."

Why wasn't the elephant allowed on the plane?
Because his trunk wouldn't fit under the seat in front of him.

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the frying pan?

Why is it so hard to drive golf balls?
They don't have steering wheels!

Why is it risky to tell funny jokes to Humpty Dumpty?
Because he might crack up.