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Joke Topic - 'Uncles'


Here are 5 jokes on the topic - 'Uncles'.

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I said to my uncle, 'How long have you been bald?'
He said 'Ever since the war lad. I lost it in a hair raid.'
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My great uncle Morris died of deafness. He was so deaf he didn't hear the roadroller coming.
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The young couple invited an elderly uncle to join them for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the uncle asked their son what they were having. "Goat," the little boy replied.
"Goat!. "Are you certain about that?"
"Yes," said the youngster. "This morning, I heard my dad tell my mom, 'Today is just as good a day as any to have that old goat for dinner.'"
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Why was the baby ant so confused?
Because all of his uncles were ants.
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Why was the baby ant so confused?
Because all of his uncles were ants.


Here are some randomly selected joke topics

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Lawyers

What's the best way to get a hold of a lawyer?
By the neck...
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Drivers

What type of driver doesn't need a license?
A screw driver.
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Squirrels

Why do sqirrels always 'live happily ever afterwards'?
Because they have furry tail ends.
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Father Christmas

When delivering the presents how many chimneys does Father Christmas go down?
Stacks of them.
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Blondes

Q: What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
A: Both are empty from the neck up.
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Understand

Wife: "I can't understand why I gain so much weight, I eat like a bird!"
Husband: "Yeah! you eat twice your own weight every day.
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Bars

The man who goes into a bar very optimistically usually leaves it very misty optically.
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School

Did you hear about the high class private school where all the pupils were very smelly?
Only filthy rich kids were allowed to go there.
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Light Bulbs

How many shop assistants does it take to change a light-bulb?
Only one, but he'll only change it if you have the receipt for the old bulb.

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