Joke Topic - 'Uncles'

Here are 6 jokes on the topic - 'Uncles'.

I said to my uncle, 'How long have you been bald?'
He said, 'Ever since the war, lad. I lost it in a hair raid.'

My great uncle Morris died of deafness. He was so deaf he didn't hear the roadroller coming.

My uncle is a man of letters. He works for the post office.

The young couple invited an elderly uncle to join them for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the uncle asked their son what they were having. 'Goat,' the little boy replied.
'Goat! 'Are you certain about that?'
'Yes,' said the youngster. 'This morning, I heard my dad tell my mom, 'Today is just as good a day as any to have that old goat for dinner.''

Why was the baby ant so confused?
Because all his uncles were ants.

Why was the baby ant so confused?
Because all of his uncles were ants.

Here are some randomly selected joke topics

Sick

Jill: You remind me of the sea.
Jack: Because I'm wild, unpredictable and romantic?
Jill: No, because you make me sick.

Astronauts

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spaceship

Burglars

What did the burglar say to the watchmaker when he robbed the watch store?
Sorry to take so much of your valuable time.

Driving

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

Tourists

What is green, has two arms, two legs, and a trunk?
A seasick tourist.

Christmas

What did Adam say on December 24th?
It's Christmas, Eve.

Scotsmen

How was the Grand Canyon in America formed?
A Scotsman was there on holiday and dropped a dime.

Insects

Doctor, doctor, I keep seeing an insect spinning in front of my eyes.
Don't worry, it's just a bug that's going round.

Cows

What do you call it when cows fight a battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.