Joke Topic - 'Umpire'

Here are 3 jokes on the topic - 'Umpire'.

And why couldn't the loutish baseball umpire have his little boy sit in his lap?
Because the son never sits on the brutish umpire.

What does a baseball player do when his eyesight starts going bad?
He gets a job as an umpire.

When is an baseball umpire like a telephone operator?
When he makes a call.

Here are some randomly selected joke topics

Dynamite

What do you get if you cross a stick of dynamite with the white of an egg?
A boom-meringue.

Did you hear about the musical ghost? He wrote haunting melodies.

Dad, there's someone at the door collecting for the old folks home. Shall I give him grandma?

Nostalgia is a thing of the past

I used to invite this gal to my apartment to help me make hamburgers.
I called her my grille friend!

Did you hear about the man who stole a truckload of eggs?
He has returned them. Apparently he only did it for a yolk.

Why did the cannibal become a vegetarian?
He went right off people.

Waiter: And what will you have to follow your main course, sir?
Diner: Most likely indigestion.

How many Princeton students does it take to change a light bulb?
Two, one to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician.

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