Joke Topic - 'Umpire'

Here are 3 jokes on the topic - 'Umpire'.

And why couldn't the loutish baseball umpire have his little boy sit in his lap?
Because the son never sits on the brutish umpire.

What does a baseball player do when his eyesight starts going bad?
He gets a job as an umpire.

When is an baseball umpire like a telephone operator?
When he makes a call.

Here are some randomly selected joke topics

Cars

What do cars do at the disco?
Brake dance.

Everyone has to believe in something
I believe I'll have another beer.

What do jigsaw puzzles do when they receive bad news?
They go to pieces.

A man was boasting to his friend, "You know, I am a well known collector of antiques."
His friend replied," Yes I know, I've seen your wife."

I drank eight cokes and burped 7-up

What can you keep even though you have given it to someone?
Your word.

When does a mouse need an umbrella?
When it's raining cats and dogs.

What do you get if you cross a mutt with a poodle?
A muddle.

I went to a restaurant that was so expensive that they didn't have prices on the menu - just little faces with varying expressions of horror.

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