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Joke Topic - 'Umpire'


Here are 3 jokes on the topic - 'Umpire'.

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And why couldn't the loutish baseball umpire have his little boy sit in his lap?
Because the son never sits on the brutish umpire.
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What does a baseball player do when his eyesight starts going bad?
He gets a job as an umpire.
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When is an baseball umpire like a telephone operator?
When he makes a call.


Here are some randomly selected joke topics

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Dogs

What does a dog use for playing golf?
A kennel club.
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Egg

When is an egg just like a losing team?
When it is being beaten.
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Knock Knock

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Nova.
Nova who?
Nova look back.
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Doctors

My brother went to the doctor. He said, 'I feel like a bar of soap.
The doctor said, 'That's life, boy.'
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Idiot

Did you hear about the idiot who thought the Cote d'Azur was a blue jacket?
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Waiters

Waiter, waiter, do they ever change the tablecloths in thls restaurant?
I don't know, sir. I've only been here a year.
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Shoes

If the shoe fits, buy the other one too.
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Relatives

What type of person lives the longest?
A rich relative.
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Open

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Adair.
Adair who?
Adair you to open this door.

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