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Joke Topic - 'Umpire'


Here are 3 jokes on the topic - 'Umpire'.

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And why couldn't the loutish baseball umpire have his little boy sit in his lap?
Because the son never sits on the brutish umpire.
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What does a baseball player do when his eyesight starts going bad?
He gets a job as an umpire.
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When is an baseball umpire like a telephone operator?
When he makes a call.


Here are some randomly selected joke topics

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Gone Forever

"It's gone forever - gone forever I tell you."
"What has?"
"Yesterday."
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Waiters

Waiter, waiter, there's a twig in my soup.
Well you did order bird's nest soup, sir.
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Umbrellas

What is most useful when it is used up?
An umbrella.
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Chickens

How can you tell if a chicken likes you?
It gives you a peck on the cheek.
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Ghosts

Did you hear what happened when the ghosts went on strike?
A skeleton staff took over.
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Doctors

Patient: Doctor, I feel like a window.
Doctor: Tell me where the pane is.
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Roosters

What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?
An alarm cluck.
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Blondes

Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A: A dope ring.
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Doctors

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Sara.
Sara who?
Sara doctor in the house?

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