Home / Joke Topics Index / Joke Topics - U / Joke Topic - Ugly - 1

Joke Topic - 'Ugly'

Here are 9 jokes on the topic - 'Ugly'.

A man staggers out of a bar totally hammered and is greeted by a snobby woman. She takes one look at him.
'You, sir, are drunk!'
'And you, ma'am, are ugly. But when I wake up, I shall be sober!'

Don't you need a license to be that ugly?

I'm not saying the mother-in-law's ugly, but she uses her bottom lip as a shower cap.

MABEL: When I'm old and ugly, will you still love me?
PERCY: I do, don't I?

Mrs Smith: Don't you think that man over there is the ugliest person you've ever seen?
Mrs Jones: That's my husband.
Mrs Smith: Oh dear, I'm so sorry.
Mrs Jones: You're sorry.

My last girlfriend was so ugly that when she worked in a pet store, people kept asking how big she would get.

My psychiatrist told me I was going crazy. I told him, 'If you don't mind, I'd like a second opinion. 'He said, 'Alright .. you're ugly too.'

What is big, green, and ugly and never smiles?
The Incredible Sulk.

You know, I don't know what I'd do without my mother-in-law - but it's nice dreaming about it.
I mean, she's not ugly - it's just that when she makes up, the lipstick crawls back down the tube.
She's found a new cheap way of making yogurt and sour cream - she simply buys a bottle of milk and stares at it for a few minutes.