A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
he stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Doctors
Doctor, doctor! I feel like a sheep.
That's baaaaaad.
Nightclubs
What do you call the people who are made of rubber and stand at the entrance to a nightclub?
Bouncers.
Vampires
Why was the vampire sent to jail?
He tried to rob the local blood bank!
Rabbits
How do rabbits stay cool in the summer?
They have air conditioning.
Elephants
Why do elephants have short tails?
Because they can't remember long stories.
Politicians
If voting could change the system, it would be illegal.
If not voting could change the system, it would be illegal.
Lawyers
Old lawyers never die. They just lose their appeal.
Sing
What should you do if you lock yourself out of your house?
Keep singing until you find the right key.
Failure
Predestination was doomed to failure from the start