A poor little East End kid was taken away to the country for his first holiday and as he got out of the train at his destination he looked around in bewilderment. 'Blimeyl What a lot of grass to keep off.'
A train in India was going very, very slowly, and a group of American tourists
were growing increasingly impatient. Finally, when it stopped for about the hundredth time, one of the tourists got out, walked to the front of the train, and asked the
train-driver, 'can't you go any faster?'
'Oh, yes sir' replied the driver, 'but I've not allowed to leave the train.'
An American, traveling on a train in Europe, met a Cuban tobacco grower,
a Russian vodka distiller and a lawyer. While they were talking business,
the Cuban took out four cigars and passed them around. After lighting his
own cigar, the Cuban took one drag and then threw it out the window,
explaining that cigars were of no consequence in his country since there
was such an abundance of them. After dinner, the Russian passed out bottles
of vodka. After taking just one swig, he threw the bottle out the window,
explaining that vodka was of no consequence since, in Russia, it was so
plentiful. The American businessman sat in quiet contemplation for several
minutes then arose and threw the lawyer out the window.
Have you visited the new website about trains?
It's just the ticket.
Passengers hit by cancelled trains
What do you call a train that is carrying toffee?
A chew chew train.
What type of trains do ballet dancers ride?
Tutu trains.
Why do you have to wait so long for a ghost train to come along?
They only run a skeleton service.