Joke Topic - 'Traffic Lights'

How do you save a drowning mouse?
Give it mouse to mouse resuscitation.

Waiter, Waiter.
I'd like a glass of beer and a piece of fish.
Fillet?
Yes - right to the top.

What do you get if you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo!

What do you call a cow that just had a calf?
Decalfinated!

Did you hear about the new microwave lawyer?
You spend eight minutes in his office and get billed as if you'd been there eight hours.

Work fascinates me. I can sit and watch it for hours.

What's the difference between lawyers and vultures?
Lawyers accumulate frequent-flier points.

Did you hear about the dog that ate nothing but garlic?
His bark was much worse than his bite.

Waiter to customer: "I know your steak is frozen. I told you it would melt in your mouth, didn't I?"