Joke Topic - 'Tinsel'

Patient: I Think I've got amnesia.
Doctor: Okay, then I will ask for my fee in advance.

What do you call the story of a cow who has a fairy godmother?
A dairy tale.

Don’t rush me; I get paid by the hour.

Paranoids are people, too they have their own problems.
It's easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid too.

What do you call a girl with a frog in her hair?
Lily.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Marion.
Marion, who?
Marion haste, repent at leisure.

How many books can you put on an empty shelf?
One. After that it isn't empty.

Customer: I'd like a bar of soap please.
Shop Assistant: Would you like it scented?
Customer: No, I want to take it with me now.

This bloke said to my brother, 'I think I'm a clock you know.'
My brother said, 'Well don't get wound up about it.'