Joke Topic - 'Tidy'

Why is it that drunks never spill drinks on other drunks?

Redundancy: An airbag in a politician's car!

Why do skeletons always go on vacation alone?
Because they have nobody to go with.

Do you know the difference between a set of bagpipes and a lawnmower?
if someone borrows your lawnmower, you always ask for it back!

Why did the banana cross the road?
It was a slip road.

How do you stop your nose running?
Hide its trainers.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Alec.
Alec who?
Alec Mary but I don't like you.

Which bus crossed the Atlantic ocean?
Columbus.

Did you hear about the man who got sacked from the calendar factory because he took a day off?