Joke Topic - 'This Morning'

How do rabbits go on vacation?
In a hareplane.

A gang of thieves broke into a blood bank last night and stole a hundred pints of blood. Police are still hunting for the clots.

How many journalists does it take to change a light bulb?
"We just report the facts, we don't change them."

What's the definition of mixed emotions?
When you see your new mother-in law backing off a cliff in your brand new Mercedes.

Why did the tire need a vacation?
Because it just couldn't take the pressure anymore.

What do you get if you cross a vampire with a hyena?
A animal that laughs at the sight of blood.

I was supposed to work in the blood lab, but they told me I wasn't the right type for the job.

Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Joan.
Joan who?
Joan call us, we'll call you.