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Joke Topic - 'The Lottery'


Here are 4 jokes on the topic - 'The Lottery'.

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A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Pack up your things! I just won the lottery!"
His wife replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?"
The man responds, "I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon!"
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Can you call someone on the other side of the international date line and get tomorrow's winning lottery numbers?
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Water.
Water who?
Water our chances of winning the lottery?
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McDougal bought two tickets for the lottery. He won five million pounds.
"How do you feel about your big win?" asked a newspaper reporter.
"Disappointed," said McDougal, "My other ticket didn't win anything."


Here are some randomly selected joke topics

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Coffee

Did you hear the story about the cup of coffee?
It's real hot stuff.
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Caterpillar

What does a caterpillar do every 1st of January?
He turns over a new leaf.
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Blisters

Some people are like blisters
- they appear when the work is done
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Dogs

We call our dog Egypt, because he likes to leave a pyramid in every room.
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Horses

What is black and white and turns cartwheels?
A piebald horse pulling a cart.
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Mice

My mother in law called today...
I knew it was her, when she knocked on the front door all the mice threw themselves on the traps!
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Uncles

I said to my uncle, 'How long have you been bald?'
He said 'Ever since the war lad. I lost it in a hair raid.'
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Loves You

Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're stupid.
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Boyfriends

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Kisses.
Kisses who?
Kisses your boyfriend here!

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