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Joke Topic - 'The Lottery'

Here are 4 jokes on the topic - 'The Lottery'.


A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Pack up your things! I just won the lottery!"
His wife replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?"
The man responds, "I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon!"

Can you call someone on the other side of the international date line and get tomorrow's winning lottery numbers?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Water who?
Water our chances of winning the lottery?

McDougal bought two tickets for the lottery. He won five million pounds.
"How do you feel about your big win?" asked a newspaper reporter.
"Disappointed," said McDougal, "My other ticket didn't win anything."

Here are some randomly selected joke topics



Did you hear the story about the cup of coffee?
It's real hot stuff.


What does a caterpillar do every 1st of January?
He turns over a new leaf.


Some people are like blisters
- they appear when the work is done


We call our dog Egypt, because he likes to leave a pyramid in every room.


What is black and white and turns cartwheels?
A piebald horse pulling a cart.


My mother in law called today...
I knew it was her, when she knocked on the front door all the mice threw themselves on the traps!


I said to my uncle, 'How long have you been bald?'
He said 'Ever since the war lad. I lost it in a hair raid.'

Loves You

Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're stupid.


Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Kisses who?
Kisses your boyfriend here!

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