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Joke Topic - 'The Lottery'


Here are 4 jokes on the topic - 'The Lottery'.

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A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Pack up your things! I just won the lottery!"
His wife replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?"
The man responds, "I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon!"
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Can you call someone on the other side of the international date line and get tomorrow's winning lottery numbers?
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Water.
Water who?
Water our chances of winning the lottery?
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McDougal bought two tickets for the lottery. He won five million pounds.
"How do you feel about your big win?" asked a newspaper reporter.
"Disappointed," said McDougal, "My other ticket didn't win anything."


Here are some randomly selected joke topics

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Cows

What do cows like to do for entertainment?
Watch moovies!
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School

What is the most popular sentence at school?
I don't know.
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Butcher

A clerk in a butcher shop is 5'10" tall. What does he weigh?
Meat.
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Skiers

Old skiers never die. They just go downhill.
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Cows

Why can't you shock cows?
Because they've herd it all before.
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A Locomotive

What do you get if you cross a locomotive with the author of Tom Sawyer?
A choo choo Twain.
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Knock Knock

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Nova.
Nova who?
Nova look back.
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Crash

NERVOUS PASSENGER: How often do planes of this type crash?
CAPTAIN: Only once, Madam.
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Burglar

What did the burglar say to the watchmaker when he robbed the watch store?
Sorry to take so much of your valuable time.

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