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Joke Topic - 'The Lottery'

Here are 4 jokes on the topic - 'The Lottery'.


A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Pack up your things! I just won the lottery!"
His wife replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?"
The man responds, "I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon!"

Can you call someone on the other side of the international date line and get tomorrow's winning lottery numbers?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Water who?
Water our chances of winning the lottery?

McDougal bought two tickets for the lottery. He won five million pounds.
"How do you feel about your big win?" asked a newspaper reporter.
"Disappointed," said McDougal, "My other ticket didn't win anything."

Here are some randomly selected joke topics



What do cows like to do for entertainment?
Watch moovies!


What is the most popular sentence at school?
I don't know.


A clerk in a butcher shop is 5'10" tall. What does he weigh?


Old skiers never die. They just go downhill.


Why can't you shock cows?
Because they've herd it all before.

A Locomotive

What do you get if you cross a locomotive with the author of Tom Sawyer?
A choo choo Twain.

Knock Knock

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Nova who?
Nova look back.


NERVOUS PASSENGER: How often do planes of this type crash?
CAPTAIN: Only once, Madam.


What did the burglar say to the watchmaker when he robbed the watch store?
Sorry to take so much of your valuable time.

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