I wouldn't say my last girlfriend was ugly, but if she had a body to match her face, her parents could have entered her for the Grand National horse race.
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Dentists
What to do you call an old dentist?
A bit long in the tooth.
Three Bears
Which monster ate the three bears' porridge?
Gouldilocks.
Road Maps
I once drove to the South of France in six days. It took me four days to get there and two days to fold up the road maps.
Tiger
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangeroo?
A stripey jumper.
Doctors
My brother went to the doctor. He said, 'I feel like a bar of soap.
The doctor said, 'That's life, boy.'
Girlfriends
If my girlfriend said what she thought she'd be completely speechless.
Apartments
Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
Sliced Bread
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Crazy
How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.