Joke Topic - 'Terrific'

Did you hear about the stupid farmer who made his chickens drink hot water?
He thought they would lay hard-boiled eggs.

Why did the man did the man try to rob the baker shop?
He wanted to steal the dough.

Doctor, doctor, my wife thinks that she's a clock.
I suspect you've just been trying wind her up.

How did the soccer field end up as a triangle?
Somebody took a corner.

What do you call an overweight ET?
An extra cholesterol.

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!'
"Don't worry, sir, the tarantula on the roll will catch it."

What happens to frogs that are illegally parked?
They get toad away.

Q: What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
A: Both are empty from the neck up.

What does Count Dracula like to do every morning at eleven?
Take a coffin-break.