Blondes
Why don't blondes eat Jello?
They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packets.
Policemen
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest.
Vampires
What do you get if you cross a vampire with some peanut butter?
A vampire that sticks to the roof of your mouth!
Politicians
Crime is merely politics without excuses.
Everything
Go ahead, tell them everything you know. It'll only take 10 seconds.
Cats
What did the cat do after he had eaten some cheese?
He waited by a mouse hole with baited breath.
Mummies
What do you call an overweight Egyptian mummy?
Two ton Carmen.
Apartments
Why are they called apartments when they're all stuck together?
Elephants
What do you get if you cross an elephant with a cat?
Very nervous mice.