Joke Topic - 'Tale'

Did you hear that the local food factory is not going to make sausages any longer?
They're long enough already.

How do you get a Scotsman to climb onto the roof of his home?
Tell him that the drinks are on the house.

My wife is as cold as marble. . .she says I take her for granite.

Waiter, there's a hand in my soup.
"That's not your soup, sir, it's the finger bowl.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Abyssinia.
Abyssinia who?
Abyssinia very soon.

You're not yourself today. I noticed the great improvement at once.

Where did Noah keep his bees?
In the ark hives.

Did you hear about the smuggler that saw a ghost?
It was the ghostguard.

What did the chewing gum say to the shoe?
I'm stuck on you.