Joke Topic - 'Tails'

I was a war baby. My parents took one look at me and started fighting.

The worst day fishing is better than the best day working

Why are Martians green?
They forgot to take their travel sickness tablets before leaving Mars.

Is there another word for synonym?

What are gnomes the most afraid of at Christmas?
That Father Christmas will give them the sack.

Q: Why do blondes to drive BMWs?
A: Because they can spell it.

What should a gymnast do if he finds himself in a haunted house?
Exorcise.

Did you hear what happened when the cows refused to be milked?
There was udder chaos.

Why did the cannibal become a vegetarian?
He went right off people.