A lady was picking through the frozen chickens in a supermarket, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked on of the staff, "Do these chickens get any bigger?"
The assistant replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Retire
Before deciding to retire from working, it is best to stay home for a week and watch daytime TV shows.
Currents
He's a few currents short of a fruit cake.
Doctors
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Sara.
Sara who?
Sara doctor in the house?
Buried At Sea
Bill: Why do you want to be buried at sea?
Fred: Because my wife says she wants to dance on my grave.
Waiters
Waiter, waiter, do you have frogs' legs?'
'No, sir, I always walk this way.'
Toys
What children's toy hates to be touched?
Lego!
Biscuits
Why do stupid people eat biscuits?
Because they're crackers.
Patient
Patient At Death's Door - Doctors Pull Him Through
Book
Bill: I just finished my first book.
Joe: Well done.
Bill: Thanks. Next year I'm planning to read another one.