Joke Topic - 'Suggestions'

I left my last job because I was told to do something I didn't like.
Really! What was that?
The boss told me to look for another job.

My wife was the last of 5 Scottish sisters to marry, the confetti was filthy.

I'm not a steady drinker - my hand shakes too much.

Janice: Today is my fourth wedding anniversary.
Anne: So you and Robert have been married four years?
Janice: No. Robert's my fourth husband.

Did you hear the one about the cannibal who got married, and at the wedding reception, toasted his mother-in-law?

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Water.
Water who?
Water way to answer the door.

The shortest distance between two points is the route a man takes when driving his mother-in-law home.

What is black and white and has sixteen wheels?
A zebra on roller skates.

Jill: You remind me of the sea.
Jack: Because I'm wild, unpredictable and romantic?
Jill: No, because you make me sick.