Kittens
How does a contented kitten feel?
Cat-isfied with life.
Girlfriends
What did the artist say to his girlfriend?
'I love you with all my art.'
Dads
This kid said to me, 'My dad can beat your dad up.'
I said to him, 'That's nothing. So can my mum.'
Golf
Wife: Where are you going with your golf clubs?
Husband: To a tee party.
Chickens
Why did the chicken want to join a pop group?
He already had the drumsticks!
Fathers
Did you hear about the child who was named after his father?
They called him dad.
Lightbulbs
How many civil servants does it take to change a light bulb?
45. One to change the bulb, and 44 to complete the paperwork.
Eating
Waiter, waiter, I can't eat this.
Why not, sir?
Because you haven't given me a knife and fork.
Skeletons
What does a skeleton usually order when he has a meal in a restaurant?
Spare ribs.