Two idiots walked deep into a forest searching for a
Christmas tree. After spending hours in the deep snow and biting wind, one idiot turned to the other and said, "I'm going to chop down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Dogs
What do young dogs like to eat when watching a movie?
Pup-corn!
Suggestions
Hi, this is John's answering machine. He's not here, but I'm open to suggestions.
Doughnuts
Old doughnut makers never die,
they just get tired of the whole business.
Hi
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Hi.
Hi who?
Hi, who are you?
The Bell
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ammonia
Ammonia who?
Ammonia little girl and I can't reach the bell.
Julius Caesar
What did they say to Julius Caesar When he went into a pub?
'Ale, Caesar?'
Gnomes
Where do gnomes go to to get fit?
To an elf farm.
Doctors
My mum said, 'Doctor, give me something for my kidneys.'
The doctor said, 'How about a few rashers of bacon?'
Trees
What is white, light and sugary and swings from trees?
A meringue-utan.