Joke Topic - 'Shopper'

Why is an astronaut like an American footballer?
They both like to make safe touch-downs.

You're never alone with schizophrenia

There were these two peanuts walking down the street and one was assaulted.

This man went to the doctor. He said, 'Doctor, my nose runs and my feet smell.'
The doctor said, 'You're built upside down.'

Do you play your piano by ear?
No, I play it by the open window to annoy my neighbors.

Did you hear about the idiot who thought a taxidermist was someone who stuffs dead cab drivers?

Where do Snowmen go to dance?
To snowballs.

Boy: Can you change twenty pence for me?
Father: Yeah, that's no problem.
Boy: Good. Change it to fifty pence please.

He was so narrow-minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.