A very large car screeched to a halt in the middle of a
Warwickshire village. The driver removed his cigar and
called out to a local farmer, 'Say, am I on the right road for
Shakespeare's birthplace?'
'Straight ahead, sir,' said the farmer. 'But there b'aint no
need to 'urry. He's dead!'
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Pigs
My uncle keeps a pig under his bed. I said, 'What about the smell?'
My uncle said, 'He doesn't mind that.'
A Big Mouth
What has a big mouth, but is unable to talk?
A glass jar.
Cats
What does a cat like to eat for breakfast?
Mice Krispies.
Burglar
What do you get if you cross a burglar with a concrete mixer?
A hardened criminal.
Salary
"We offer a competitive salary"
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
Dracula
Did you hear about the man who kept thinking he was Dracula?
He was a right pain in the neck.
Ghosts
What do you call a ghost who only haunts the Town Hall?
The nightmayor.
School
Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
College
Bill: So your son is at college. . . what's he going to be when he gets through?
Father: A pensioner.