I went to the seaside for a vacation last year. The landlady said to me, 'We charge twenty pounds a night, bed and breakfast- or twelve pounds if you make your own bed.' 'Oh, all right,' I said, 'I'll make the bed.' And the landlady gave me a saw, a hammer and some nails.
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Loves You
Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're stupid.
Cow
Why did the cow leave home?
It wanted to look for greener pastures.
Hired
Don't ask me I was hired for my looks.
Cold
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce in it's cold out here.
Birds
What kind of books do owls like to read?
Whoo-dunnits.
A Dime
Why is a dime smarter than a nickel?
Because it has more cents.
Ducks
Did you hear that the price of duck feathers has risen?
So now even down is up.
Farmers
How did the farmer locate his lost cow?
He tractor down.
Marry
Henry: Darling. will you marry me?
Jane: No. but I will always admire your good taste.