I went to the seaside for a vacation last year. The landlady said to me, 'We charge twenty pounds a night, bed and breakfast- or twelve pounds if you make your own bed.' 'Oh, all right,' I said, 'I'll make the bed.' And the landlady gave me a saw, a hammer and some nails.
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Men
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good
looking?
They all already have boyfriends.
Computers
If a listener nods his head when you're explaining your program, wake
him up.
Doctors
Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a bridge.
Now then, what's come over you?
Two cars and a truck.
Golf
My brother went to the doctor's and said, 'Some days, I think I'm a golf ball.'
The doctor said, 'Well you've come a fair way to see me...'
Peanut Butter
What do you get if you cross a vampire with some peanut butter?
A vampire that sticks to the roof of your mouth!
Tact
Tact: The unsaid part of what you are thinking.
Porridge
"Who's been eating my porridge?" asked baby bear.
"Who's been eating my porridge?" asked mother bear.
"Burp" said father bear.
Political
Some people tell political jokes... we HAVE them!
School
Did you hear about the high class private school where all the pupils were very smelly?
Only filthy rich kids were allowed to go there.