Husbands
I wouldn't say my husband is thin, but he looks like a thermometer when he wears a red necktie.
Peanuts
There were these two peanuts walking down the street, and one was assaulted.
Marriage
Marriage - a three-ring circus:
engagement ring,
wedding ring,
and suffering.
Bulls
Enraged Bull Injures Farmer With Axe
Roosters
What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?
An alarm cluck.
Walking
What do you call a man who walks through the autumn leaves?
Russell.
Pigs
What do you get if you cross a pig and a telephone?
A lot of crackling on the line.
Golf
PAR: What a golf addict's children call their father.
Lightbulbs
How many IBM engineers are required to change a light bulb?
None. They just let Marketing promote that 'Dead Bulb' as a feature.