Joke Topic - 'Scotland Yard'

Harry: My wife speaks through her nose?
Fred: Why does she do that?
Harry: Because she's worn her mouth out.

I like work, it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

"Duties will vary."
Anyone in the office can boss you around and tell you what to do.

Did you hear about the dating agency for chickens that went bankrupt last week?
They couldn't make hens meet.

You know you're having a bad day when the worst player on the golf course wants to play you for money.

What did one angel say to the other?
Halo there!

Diner: Waiter, when I ordered this steak, I said 'Well done'.
Waiter: Thank you Sir.

During Britain's "brain drain," not a single politician left the country.

What did the policeman say to his belly-button?
You're under a vest.