"You should be ashamed," the father told his son, "When Abraham Lincoln was your age, he used to walk ten miles every day to get to school."
"Really?" the kid said. "Well when he was your age, he was president."
A convict escaped from prison by digging a tunnel. It came up outside the prison in a school playground. The convict was so happy when he emerged from the tunnel he exclaimed, "I'm free, I'm free!"
"So what," said a little girl. "I'm four."
Brian: (eating his lunch at school)Teacher, I've got a bone stuck in my throat.
Teacher: Are you choking?
Brian: No, I'm serious.
Did you hear about the high class private school where all the pupils were very smelly?
Only filthy rich kids were allowed to go there.
Did you hear what happened to the little witch when she misbehaved at school?
She was ex-spelled.
How do fish get to school?
They go by octobus.
Joe: I was playing soccer yesterday and sprained my ankle. That's why I was absent from school this morning.
Teacher: What a lame excuse that is!
Laura woke up late for school, she was 10 minutes late. She rushed into school. Her teacher asked her, why are you so late, and Laura replied, "oh did I miss something?"
Mother: So what have you learned on your first day at high school?
Son: Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.
My parents sent me to boarding school so that they wouldn't have to help me with my homework.