Joke Topic - 'Saliva'

A Scottish gift: "It's nae use to me, ye're welcome to it."

Did you hear about the three French swordsmen who liked to put mustard in their ears?
They were known as the three mustardears.

I never used to be able to finish anything, but now I ....

What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right hand?
Your right elbow.

What kind of pets like to lay around the house all day?
Car-pets!

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Al.
Al who?
Al be seeing you.

I used to be arrogant, but now I'm perfect

Billy: My mother has the worst memory in the world.
Frank: She forgets everything?
Billy: No. she remembers everything.

What do you call a large pack of black and white spotted dogs that are boring?
101 Dull-matians.