Joke Topic - 'Sale'

Someday my boat will come in
- and with my luck I'll be at the airport

He's not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree.

What type of events do cows like to go to?
Barn Dances.

Doctor: Nurse, I'm ready to see the next patient now, can you send her in?
Nurse: Sorry, she didn't look very well, so I sent her home.

Why did the idiot put on wet trousers?
Because the label said 'wash and wear.'

Did you hear about the skeleton that was attacked by a dog?
It ran off with some bones and left him without a leg to stand on.

Billy: Why did you quit your job at the toffee factory?
Joe: I bit off more than I could chew.

Which famous Scottish poet is really setting the place on fire?
Robert Burns.

My wife divorced me on religious grounds.
She worships money and I don't have any.