Paranoid
Paranoids are people, too; they have their own problems.
It's easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid too.
Bowling
Where do old bowling balls end up?
In the gutter.
Soup
Have you ever had chicken soup?
No, I've never known a chicken who could cook.
Vacations
Where does Dr. Jekyll go for a vacation?
To his summer Hyde-away.
Undertakers
How do undertakers speak?
Gravely.
Wives
George: This year my wife gave me a wonderful birthday present.
Fred: What was it?
George: She let me win an argument.
Butchers
A clerk in a butcher shop is 5 ft 10 inches tall. What does he weigh?
Meat.
Buses
Why did the bat miss the bus?
Because he hung around for too long.
Elephants
How do you make a dead elephant float?
Well, you take ten dead elephants, 10 tonnes of chocolate ice cream, 5 tonnes of bananas.