Joke Topic - 'Sad'

What do you call an honest lawyer?
Hypothetical.

Did you hear about the husband who took his wife for some plastic surgery?
He had her credit cards removed!

What is black and white and has sixteen wheels?
A zebra on roller skates.

Errors have occurred.
We won't tell you where or why.
Lazy programmers.

Why is an old car like a baby?
Because it always has a rattle.

What type of car is like a sausage?
An old banger.

What do you call it when a swarm of bees help in undercover police work?
A sting operation.

My girlfriend's cooking is just like a good man, hard to keep down.

If Fairbanks Alaska passed a law outlawing all dogs, what would it be called?
Dogless Fairbanks!