'Grandad, do you know how to croak?'
I don't think so, Steven, why?"
'Because Dad says he'll be rich when you
do.'
Did you hear about the high class private school where all the pupils were very smelly?
Only filthy rich kids were allowed to go there.
Did you hear about the man who wouldn't wash until he became a millionaire? He's now filthy rich.
Did you hear about the rich rabbit?
He was a millionhare.
How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb?
She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment."
The poor guy walks up to the rich guy's house. He's down on his luck and needs some money. He rings the doorbell.
"Hi there, I'm down on my luck, need some money, and I was wondering if you have any work I could do for you?" The rich Guy decides to give him a break, and says:
"Sure, my porch needs painting. I'll pay you 50 dollars to do it for me." "Sure thing, Mister, I'll get started right away!"
Time passes, until...
"Hey Mister, I'm all done painting!"
"Well, here's your 50 dollars"
"Thanks, and by the way, it's a Ferrari, not a Porsche."
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Doctors
Patient: Doctor, you must help me I keep thinking that I'm a crossword puzzle.
Doctor: Is it getting you down?
Robbery
What do you get if you cross a thief with an orchestra?
Robbery with violins.
Blondes
Q: Why did the Blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
A: Because it said concentrate.
Police
Police Officer: Why are you driving in a bathing suit?
Motorist: I'm in a car pool.
Karate
Did you hear about the karate champion who joined the army?
The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself.
Christmas
What is a hairdressers favourite Christmas carol?
"Oh comb all ye faithful".
Cows
Where would you be most likely to find a prehistoric cow?
In a moo-seum.
Carpets
What item is usually bought by the metre, yet is worn by the foot?
A carpet.
Father Christmas
Where does Father Christmas stay when he takes a vacation?
In a ho ho hotel.