"Hello, and welcome to Answering Machines of the Rich and Famous!
(your name here) can't come to the phone right now, because he's
spending the week in his beautiful summer home on the French Riviera..."
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Beer
Everyone has to believe in something
I believe I'll have another beer.
Driving
Why am I the only person on earth that knows how to drive?
Bed
Why did the man run around his bed?
To try and catch up on his sleep.
Cows
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An eskimoo.
Programmers
Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects.
Restaurant
A sign in the window of a restaurant: "Eat now - Pay waiter."
Abbreviated
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Skeptics
How many skeptics does it take to change a light bulb?
What makes you think a light bulb can be changed anyway?
Birthdays
When is a birthday cake just like a golf ball?
After it’s been sliced.