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Joke Topic - 'Retire'

Here are 2 jokes on the topic - 'Retire'.


Before deciding to retire from working, it is best to stay home for a week and watch daytime TV shows.

Doctor: The best time to take a bath is just before you retire.
Patient: You mean I don't need to take another bath until I'm sixty-five?

Here are some randomly selected joke topics



Did you hear about the paranoid blood hound?
He was convinced that certain people were following him.


Give me patience and I want it now!


Did you hear about the Scotsman who washed his kilt?
He couldn't do a fling with it.


I'm not as dumb as you look.


How do rabbits go on vacation?
In a hareplane.


Mary: I hear that you have a model husband?
Joan: It's true he really is a model husband - unfortunately he's not a working model.


What does a baseball player do when his eyesight starts going bad?
He gets a job as an umpire.

Light Bulbs

How many shop assistants does it take to change a light-bulb?
Only one, but he'll only change it if you have the receipt for the old bulb.


My mum said to my uncle, 'What's got four legs and flies?'
My uncle said, 'Don't tell me, the horse is dead.'

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