Crime
The murderer definitely displayed ruthlessness when he committed the crime!
How do you know that?
Because Ruth was with me.
Budgies
What do you call a baby budgie?
A budget.
Turkeys
Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of foul play.
Time
There's no future in time travel
Read
If you can't read
Watch this space
Money
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Jimmy.
Jimmy who?
Jimmy all your money.
Dracula
What type of TV does Dracula own?
A plasma.
Cars
Men are like Used Cars.
Both are easy to get, cheap, and they prove to be unreliable.
Cows
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.