Joke Topic - 'Promises'

Here are 2 jokes on the topic - 'Promises'.

Did you hear what happened to the tub of butter?
If I tell you about it, you need to promise not to spread it around.

What can you break without touching it?
Your promise.

Here are some randomly selected joke topics

What did the burglar say to the watchmaker when he robbed the watch store?
Sorry to take so much of your valuable time.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Miri.
Miri, who?
Miri me and we'll live happily ever after.

I could not disagree with you less.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Thea.
Thea who?
Thea later, alligator.

Where did the dog leave his car when he went shopping?
In a barking lot.

What do you call it when cows fight a battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.

Wife: Why did you come home at 4 am this morning?
Husband: Where else can you go at 4 in the morning in this town?

What does a baseball pitcher like to do on his birthday?
Throw a party.

What did the cat do after he had eaten some cheese?
He waited by a mouse hole with baited breath.