'A fool can ask more questions than a wise man can answer,' the professor said. Maybe that's why we all flunked your last test,' an anonymous retort came from the rear of the lecture hall.
A professor attempting to inspire his students says to his class, 'This week is your last chance to study for your final exam next Monday. Time is running out. The exam is now in the hands of the printer. Are their any questions?'
One student inquires, 'How many questions will their be?'
Another student asks, 'Will the exam require essay answers?'
A third wants to know, 'Who's the printer?'
Old Chemistry professors never die; they just smell that way!
Old professors never die. They just lose their faculties.
There once was an old man from Esser,
Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser.
It at last grew so small,
He knew nothing at all,
And now he's a College Professor.
Witches
My brother saw a witch riding on a broomstick. He said, 'What are you doing on that?'
The witch said, 'My best friend's got the vacuum cleaner.'
Permanent
There is nothing more permanent than a temporary tax.
Christmas
What goes ho, ho, ho, plop?
Santa Claus laughing his head off.
Wives
My wife is a magician. She can turn anything into an argument.
Dentists
What award does the dentist of the year get?
A little plaque.
Waiters
Waiter, waiter, have you smoked salmon?
No, sir, but I have smoked a pipe.
Chocolate
What is made of chocolate and is found at the bottom of the sea?
An oyster egg.
Doctors
The doctor checked the patient's purse before deciding that there was no hope.
Fast
Please don't honk; I'm pedaling as quickly as I can.