"A fool can ask more questions than a wise man can answer," quoted the professor. "Maybe that's why we all flunked your last test," came an anonymous retort from the rear of the lecture hall.
A professor attempting to inspire his students says to his class, "This week is your last chance to study for your final exam next Monday. Time is running out. The exam is now in the hands of the printer. Are their any questions?"
One student inquires, "How many questions will their be?"
Another student asks, "Will the exam require essay answers?"
A third wants to know, "Who's the printer?"
There once was an old man from Esser,
Who's knowledge grew lesser and lesser.
It at last grew so small,
He knew nothing at all,
And now he's a College Professor.
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Chickens
Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud and cross again?
He wanted to be a dirty double crosser.
Zombies
Why was the zombie awarded a medal?
Because he was dead-icated!
Elephants
Q: How do you know if there is an elephant under your bed?
A: Your nose is touching the ceiling.
Kitten
Patient: I think I'm turning into a baby cat.
Doctor: I think your just kitten me.
Boy Scout
Why did the Boy Scout become dizzy?
Because he spent all day doing good turns.
Idiots
Did you here about the idiot that stayed up all night to see where the sun went?
It finally dawned on him.
Spiders
What do you call two spiders have just been married?
Newlywebs.
Birds
Did you hear about the bird that lived underground?
He was a mynah bird.
Spaceships
What do you call a spaceship that is always saying sorry?
An Apollo G.