"A fool can ask more questions than a wise man can answer," quoted the professor. "Maybe that's why we all flunked your last test," came an anonymous retort from the rear of the lecture hall.
A professor attempting to inspire his students says to his class, "This week is your last chance to study for your final exam next Monday. Time is running out. The exam is now in the hands of the printer. Are their any questions?"
One student inquires, "How many questions will their be?"
Another student asks, "Will the exam require essay answers?"
A third wants to know, "Who's the printer?"
There once was an old man from Esser,
Who's knowledge grew lesser and lesser.
It at last grew so small,
He knew nothing at all,
And now he's a College Professor.
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Vampires
What did the vampire say when he called the blood bank?
Do you do home deliveries?
Emergency
"This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. If this had been an
actual emergency, do you really think we'd stick around to tell you?"
Golf
Golfer: "That can't possibly be my ball. It looks far too old".
Caddy: "Well, It has been a long time since we started, sir."
Birds
What did the parakeet say when he finished shopping?
Just put it on my bill.
The Lottery
Can you call someone on the other side of the international date line and get tomorrow's winning lottery numbers?
Hypochondriacs
Hypochondriacs make me sick
Biscuits
Why do stupid people eat biscuits?
Because they're crackers.
Shopping
I came, I saw, I did a little shopping
Doctors
Doctor, Doctor, everyone keeps ignoring me.
Next, please.