A policeman walked over to a parked car and asked the driver if the car was licensed. 'Of course it is,' replied the driver.
'Great, I'll have a pint then.'
Old policemen never die, they just cop out.
Tourist: Is that chin-strap to keep your helmet on?
Policeman: No, sir, it's to rest my jaw on after answering stupid questions.
Traffic policeman: 'Didn't you hear me shout to you to pull over?'
Motorist: 'I'm awfully sorry. I thought you said "Good morning, Chief Constable." '
Traffic policeman: 'That's all right, sir. I just wanted to warn you that the traffic's pretty bad up ahead.'
Two policemen are called to the scene of a crime in a convenience store. One asks the manager what happened.
He replies "There's a man over there covered in Corn Flakes and he's dead."
"That's odd," said the first policeman, "didn't we have one covered in Bran Flakes yesterday? And another covered in Wheata Flakes last week?"
"Your right" said the second policeman. "This must be the work of a cereal killer."
What do ghostly policemen do?
They haunt criminals.
Where do policemen live?
999 Letsbe Avenue.