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Joke Topic - 'Pirates'
Here are 3 jokes on the topic - 'Pirates'.
Once upon a time there was a famous sea captain. This captain was very
successful at what he did for years he guided merchant ships all over the world. Never did stormy seas or pirates get the best of him. He was admired by his crew and fellow captains.
However, there was one thing different about this captain. Every morning he went through a strange ritual. He would lock himself in his captain's quarters and open a small safe. In the safe was an envelope with a piece of paper inside. He would stare at the paper for a minute, then lock it back up. After, he would go about his daily duties. For years this went on, and his crew became very curious. Was it a treasure map? Was it a letter from a long lost love? Everyone speculated the contents of the strange envelope.
One day the captain died at sea. After laying the captain's body to rest, the first mate led the entire crew into the captains quarters. He opened the safe, got the envelope, opened it and...
The first mate turned pale and showed the paper to the others. Four words were on the paper, two on two lines:
``Port Left Starboard Right''
However, there was one thing different about this captain. Every morning he went through a strange ritual. He would lock himself in his captain's quarters and open a small safe. In the safe was an envelope with a piece of paper inside. He would stare at the paper for a minute, then lock it back up. After, he would go about his daily duties. For years this went on, and his crew became very curious. Was it a treasure map? Was it a letter from a long lost love? Everyone speculated the contents of the strange envelope.
One day the captain died at sea. After laying the captain's body to rest, the first mate led the entire crew into the captains quarters. He opened the safe, got the envelope, opened it and...
The first mate turned pale and showed the paper to the others. Four words were on the paper, two on two lines:
``Port Left Starboard Right''
Where does Blackbeard the Pirate hide his treasure chest?
Underneath his treasure shirt.
Underneath his treasure shirt.
Why did the pirate's phone keep going beep, beep, beep?
Because he had left it off his hook.
Because he had left it off his hook.
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Tourists
Tourist: Is that chin-strap to keep your helmet on?
Policeman: No, sir, it's to rest my jaw on after answering stupid questions.
Policeman: No, sir, it's to rest my jaw on after answering stupid questions.
Idiots
Why did the idiot put on wet trousers?
Because the label said 'wash and wear.'
Because the label said 'wash and wear.'
Elephants
A fool-proof method for sculpting an elephant: first, get a huge block
of marble then you chip away everything that doesn't look like an
elephant.
Wife
The kindest thing I can say about my wife
is that her in-laws are a lot nicer than mine.
Cannibals
Two cannibals were having lunch.
One cannibal said "your wife makes a great soup."
"Yes" said the other one, "but I'm sure gonna miss her."
One cannibal said "your wife makes a great soup."
"Yes" said the other one, "but I'm sure gonna miss her."
Seasick
What's green, has four legs and two trunks?
Two seasick tourists.
Two seasick tourists.
Doctors
Doctor, doctor, these pills you gave me for BO are no use.
What's wrong with them?
They keep slipping from under my arms.
What's wrong with them?
They keep slipping from under my arms.
Not Here
"Hello, I'm not here."
Prisoners
Did you hear about the prisoner who talked very slowly?
He took twentyfive years to finish a sentence.
He took twentyfive years to finish a sentence.
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